East vs West: The gaming debate to end them all.
If characters from video games were real, and a battle was to ensue between the warring factions from the east and the west, I imagine it would go a little something like this…
A short time ago, in a galaxy that’s actually quite near, 1000 space marines’ bald heads reflect sunlight, on the horizon of a beaten planet. Reminiscent of a post apocalyptic Earth and predictably very brown, but at least the textures are nice and shiny. The ranks in front contain a mixture of elves, armed with bows, because bows are so “in” right now, with dwarves wielding axes and chugging down gilded flagons of mead. The back ranks are filled out with older versions of the characters in front, these units are called sequels and their numbers are many. The advance guard is filled out with MolePigs; 4-wheeled 2-man jeeps with rear mounted LMGs which fire rounds the size of your face, but still take 2 belts to kill a sewer rat, not enough EXP you see.
A handful of the MolePigs break away from the main group to perform some reconnaissance, whilst the dwarves get drunk and talk in Scottish accents. The Molepigs gun their engines for a good few miles, passing the odd brown building on the way, whilst incessantly saying “Oscar Mike” through their radios. The group comes to a sudden halt as gunnery sergeant Max Steele spots a menacing silhouette painted against the horizon.
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